Dog Social Skills 101: Repairing Broken Greeting Chains

Dogs are naturally social creatures, but that doesn’t mean they all know how to greet others politely. Just like humans, dogs rely on a set of unspoken social “rules” to navigate interactions—especially when meeting unfamiliar dogs. These behaviours form what’s known as a greeting chain—a natural and predictable sequence that, when followed smoothly, helps ensure greetings remain safe, calm, and non-confrontational.

Even if your own dog is friendly and eager to interact, the way they approach others matters. Over-staring, charging in too fast, getting stuck on one part of the chain (like fixating during the approach or sniffing too long), or playing too roughly can all come across as rude or threatening to other dogs. And when one dog breaks the rules—even with good intentions—it often leads to tension, defensive behaviour, or even fights.

In many cases, greeting issues aren’t about aggression—they’re about miscommunication. If a dog feels unsure or overwhelmed by how another dog is behaving, they’re more likely to respond negatively. That’s why understanding the greeting chain, and teaching your dog to move through it calmly and appropriately, isn’t just about improving their behaviour—it also helps reduce the risk of triggering fear or reactivity in other dogs.

By repairing and reinforcing this chain of behaviours, you can help your dog become more socially skilled, confident, and welcome in a wider range of environments.

🧩 What Is a Greeting Chain?

Dogs typically follow this social sequence when greeting one another:

SEE → APPROACH → FACE-TO-FACE GREETING → MOVE TO REAR → PLAY or DISENGAGE

Each stage allows dogs to read each other’s body language, communicate intent, and decide whether to continue, play, or walk away.

When the chain is respected, greetings are calm and unremarkable. But when one or more links are skipped, prolonged, or overloaded, you’re more likely to see problem behaviours like barking, freezing, reactivity, or even fights.

🔗 Common Breaks in the Greeting Chain (and How to Repair Them)

Let’s walk through each stage of the chain, identify common problems, and provide practical strategies for helping your dog restore polite social behaviours.

1. SEE

This is the moment your dog first notices another dog—often from a distance.

Common Problems:

• Fixated staring

• Barking or growling

• Freezing

• Sudden spike in arousal (ears up, tail stiff, weight forward)

Why it happens: Dogs who are unsure or overexcited about other dogs may get "stuck" at the seeing stage, especially if previous greetings have ended badly or unpredictably.

How to Help:

• Use Distraction Mark Treat (DMT): Say “YES” the moment your dog sees another dog, then reward. This creates a positive emotional association with the sight of dogs, even if no greeting happens and helps them to disengage

• Practise DMT in other areas too: new sounds, people, environments—help your dog generalise calm curiosity across all stimuli.

• Try scatter feeding when dogs are visible but at a distance. Sniffing lowers arousal and helps move them out of “high alert” mode.

• Use the Name Game to interrupt fixation and gently refocus their attention on you.

Goal: Teach your dog that seeing another dog = something good happens, and they don’t need to escalate or panic.

2. APPROACH

When two dogs are on lead and approaching one another, this is often the most stressful part of the interaction—and the stage where many dogs struggle.

Common Issues During the Approach:

• Barking or lunging

• Pulling hard on the lead

• Freezing suddenly

• Dragging toward the other dog or hiding behind you

Why It Happens:

The approach puts dogs under pressure. On lead, they lose the ability to communicate naturally—especially the ability to move in an arc, which is how dogs typically greet one another when given the choice. Instead, a direct, head-on approach can feel confrontational or overwhelming.

Some dogs feel conflicted—excited to say hello but unsure how the other dog will respond. Others may be nervous, frustrated, or simply overstimulated. Without the freedom to move or disengage, their only options become barking, lunging, or shutting down.

How You Can Help Your Dog:

🐾 Encourage an Arc

Instead of approaching head-on, guide your dog to move in a gentle arc as they get closer to the other dog. This curved path mimics natural canine body language and helps reduce tension for both dogs. If the space allows, step off the main path or curve your route as you walk.

🔁 Use “Let’s Go” Early

If your dog starts to stare, freeze, or fixate, use a “Let’s Go!” and move away before they become overwhelmed. Practise this cue during calm walks so it becomes a happy and reliable way to disengage.

🚶‍♂️ Try the 3-Step Approach

Take three calm steps toward the other dog, mark with “Yes!” and reward your dog for staying engaged with you. Then turn and walk away. Repeat as needed, gradually helping your dog feel more confident without flooding them with pressure.

🎯 Keep Using DMT (Distraction Mark Treat)

Continue using DMT as you approach—especially if the other dog is moving too. Mark and reward every time your dog looks at the other dog and then back to you, helping build positive associations and maintain emotional control.

Goal: Your dog approaches calmly and without fixating. If they can’t do that yet, they’re not ready for a greeting—so focus on approach training instead.

3. FACE-TO-FACE GREETING

This is the initial sniff or pause when two dogs meet. Some will sniff quickly and move on, others get “stuck” here.

Common Problems:

• Staring or freezing

• Chin resting on the other dog

• Overly intense nose-to-nose contact

• Rising tension, tail stiffening

Why it happens: Some dogs don’t know how to manage this stage due to poor socialisation or bad past experiences. Others may simply become overwhelmed by the close proximity.

How to Help:

• Teach backaways: gentle leash pressure followed by a reward when your dog moves away. Practise this at home and during greetings. This helps to reduce tension and ensures lead tension doesn't become a cue to escalate a situation

• Use a Let's Go cue to help them move on from a tense or over-long interaction

  Use calm, older dogs for practice—ones who aren’t reactive and won’t escalate tension.

• Keep greetings brief. 1–2 seconds is plenty at first!

Goal: Your dog should be able to greet briefly and move on without freezing, fixating, or escalating.

4. MOVE TO REAR (SNIFFING THE BACK END)

This is a normal part of dog communication and lets them gather information in a less confrontational way.

Common Problems:

• Intense over-sniffing

• Following too closely or getting “stuck”

• Intrusive sniffing that causes the other dog to snap

Why it happens: Over-arousal or lack of social skills. Some dogs skip this step entirely, while others linger too long.

How to Help:

• Interrupt gently with a “Let’s Go” after a 2–3 second sniff.

• Practise short greetings followed by disengagement. You’re training your dog to self-regulate.

Goal: Your dog sniffs politely, then moves on when asked—or on their own.

5. PLAY or DISENGAGE

This is the final step. Some dogs play, others walk away. Both are appropriate outcomes depending on the context and personalities involved.

Common Problems:

• Overbearing play (body-slamming, chasing, jumping)

• Doesn’t disengage—keeps trying to follow the dog

• Escalation into frustration or scuffles

Why it happens: Some dogs don’t know when to stop, especially high-energy or under-socialised dogs.

How to Help:

• Practise “Let’s Go” off lead and recall regularly, even during play.

• Use the 3-second rule: let your dog sniff or play briefly, then call them away. Reward heavily for disengaging.

• Supervise play carefully. Step in if energy is escalating too much.

Goal: Your dog can engage briefly and return to you easily—either for recall or to move on.

🎯 Why Who You Practise With Matters

When working on broken greeting chains, avoid other dogs with poor social skills. Two broken chains don’t help each other.

Instead, look for:

• Calm, older dogs

• Dogs who will ignore yours if needed

• Dogs with good communication skills and gentle body language

This sets your dog up for success and avoids reinforcing unwanted behaviours.

🧠 Remember: Dogs Read Each Other, Too

If your dog freezes, stares, or rushes forward, they may trigger defensiveness in the other dog—even if your dog doesn’t mean harm. Polishing your dog’s greeting chain doesn’t just help them stay calm, it helps ensure other dogs don’t respond badly in return.

✅ Takeaway: Repair the Chain, Change the Outcome

Greeting struggles are common, but they’re not permanent. By identifying where your dog’s chain is broken and methodically working on each stage, you can transform walks from stressful to successful.

And the best part? As your dog improves, so do the reactions from other dogs and people. Calm dogs attract calm greetings.

Need help teaching these skills?

Join the Adolescent Dogs Online Academy and take part in our Social Skills Challenge. You’ll learn how to teach your dog key behaviours like Distraction Marking Training (DMT), Backaways, Let's Go, and Recall. You'll also gain insight by watching our trainers work with challenging dogs, giving you real-life examples of how to apply the training across different temperaments—and how to tailor it to suit your own dog’s unique greeting style.

We can also support you and your dog via our intensive residential training programmes, one to one lessons and workshops